'You know you're Australian when...' (part 2)

When they hear the phrase, 'You know when you're being Australian when...' people respond with fascinating personal experiences. Some responses seem cynical, some mournful, many are funny and heartfelt. Here are just a few in no particular order.
 
? ''When you pass the citizenship test.''
 
? ''When you find yourself laughing at the Aussie humour in shows like Kingswood Country, The Paul Hogan Show, Graeme Kennedy, Kath and Kim, The Castle, Strictly Ballroom, Muriels Wedding, and Mad Max.''
 
? ''When you remember wearing speedos when you were a kid.''
 
? ''When aeroguard smells good.''
 
? ''When you get tan lines on your feet from the thongs.''
 
? ''When you get caught red handed in drug trafficking while overseas and have to call on the Australian govt to pull you out of the deep shit.''
 
? ''When you hear yourself actually say ''G'day mate!.''
 
? ''When you know you are an aussie when you cut down people who are successful, and think that everything American is cr*p.''
 
? ''When something bad happens and you get stomped on instead of being looked after like you thought you would be. And those that did it get away with no more than a smack on the wrist free do to it to others as long as they wish while you are buggered forever.''
 
? ''When you feel great pride in being Australian, and knowing that you live in a great country that many other nation''s peoples have wished to migrate to for a better quality of life than that of their home country.''
 
? ''When you drank coola cordial as a kid and even now dont know what flavour it was meant to be.''
 
? ''When somebody has a go at you for sounding ''So Australian.''
 
? ''When you whinge about everything under the sun, then as soon as you hear an English accent you refer to them as a ''Whinging Pom.''
 
? ''When you cannot imagine a life without VEGEMITE.''
 
? ''one of the ways to keep kids occupied on long drives is to play ''count the dead kangaroos.''
 
? ''When you drink cask wine and smoke Winfield reds.''
 
? ''When you get a beach towel for Christmas.''
 
? ''When you have burnt your a$$ on the vinyl seats of a Kingswood.''
 
? ''When you understand that thongs are footwear, not underwear.''
 
? ''When you can match the beer with the state it's produced in ie: Tooheys - NSW; XXXX - QLD; Swan - WA; Carlton - VIC; Cascade - TAS; Redback Bitter - SA and so on.''
 
? ''When you are fully aware that the first Sunday of October is a holy day of obligation.''
 
? ''When you know what the term ''aerial ping pong'' means.''
 
? ''When you are prepared to spend hours sweltering in the sun or freezing in the cold and rain to watch (or play) sport - especially cricket, tennis or football of any code.''
 
? ''When you are either a Holden or Ford fan.''
 
? ''When you understand the meaning of: Bobs's your uncle!, She'll be jake!, Fair crack of the whip!, Bonza!, Bewdy Newk!, and Onya!.''
 
? ''When you know who Norm is, and you can't get the ''Slip Slop Slap'' jingle out of your head.''
 
? ''When you know what ''Aveagoodweekend'' means and where it comes from.''
 
? ''When you know that a fanny is at the front, not the back!''
 
? ''When you wonder what it is all about, being an Australian, when you get abused and assaulted, for refusing to answer questions as to your racial identification other than to I am Australian -- obviously for some racial identification is far more important than being Australian.''
 
? ''Buying a Kebab at 2am from Habibi's Kebab shop.''
 
? ''When you KNOW you live in the best country in the world, and couldn't give a stuff about those who don't agree.''
 
? ''When you have swallowed a blowfly.''
 
? ''When you cringe everytime you hear a REALLY BAD fake Aussie accent being spoken on a movie or TV.''
 
? ''When you go 20 hours from home on a plane and the first thing you unpack is your VEGEMITE.''
 
? ''When finding a Violet Crumble bar at Sydney International is more important than collecting your luggage.''
 
? ''When you can't help a craving for Smiths Crisps.''
 
? ''When you plan a weekend away camping with the family and you get the biggest rains of the year on the day your meant to go.''
 
? ''Having a hot christmas lunch in 40 degree heat seems nothing out of the norm.''
 
? ''When your car is held together by blue tack and cable ties.''
 
? ''When you know you are Australian when someone is handing you a trophy for being the best,,.''
 
? ''When you cringe at your ancestry.''
 
? ''When you call swimming costumes ''bathers'', slippers ''thongs'', and say ''noice-noice'' after every other word.''
 
? ''When you know how to finish: a) ''If the van's rockin' don't bother____. b) You''re going home in the back of a ____. c) Fair crack of the____.''
 
? ''When a friend or relative has a car in their front yard up on blocks.''
 
? ''When great auntie Flo smokes 30 cigarettes a day, drinks stubbies and sounds like a bloke.''
 
? ''When your great uncles constantly talks about indonesia invading!''
 
? ''When you own a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an esky and ugg boots.''
 
? ''When your girl friend carries the slab of beer.''
 
? ''When your prime minister holds the world record for schulling a yard glass. ( bob hawke).''
 
? ''When you give every one a fair go and dont insult the barrel because of the few wrotton apples at the bottom.''
 
? ''When you leave Australian made products on the shelf and buy a cheaper imported brand.''
 
? ''When you know that you're Australian when you know that you''re identity is unique in the world, and you'd like every Australian citizen to embrace this unique identity.''
 
? ''When you know you''re Australian when when you pronounce ''often'' with the ''t'' because you think it sounds more classier.''
 
? ''When you say ''haitch'' instead of ''aitch''. For no real reason I can think of.''
 
? ''When you have a pair of thongs for going out and a pair for wearing around the yard at home.''
 
? ''When you travel overseas and people confuse what you''re wearing on your feet with another type of clothing work higher up.''
 
? ''Sculling a tinnie and beating the everloving crap out of the handbrake.''
 
? ''My neighbour just came back from a holiday on a Cruise Ship he managed to get on the ''Pommie'' Captains Table who told a Australian Joke: ''Why do Australians wear ''thongs''? They don't know how to tie a shoelace.''
 
? ''When you watch bad boy bubby & wish you were him.''
 
? ''When you know you are an Australian when you go on and on and on and on and on and on and on about what a true blue Aussie you are, and how much you love your country... and then you dumb an old sofa in the bush, or throw a plastic bottle in the gutter, to end up in the creek. Yep, true blue.''